Everyday Life as Creator

Today, I feel the embrace of my eternal beingness in a single deep breath, but it wasn’t always that way. As a child, I was shy, lonely, and often hiding from the world. In my teens, I spiraled into rebellion, battled eating disorders, used drugs, and spent my 15th birthday in a psychiatric ward. I carried deep emotional pain and self-judgment into adulthood, trying to outrun my feelings through achievement, success, and perfection. On the outside, I built the picture-perfect life, corporate career, marriage, kids, but inside, I was anxious and constantly seeking relief from unresolved emotions.   By my mid-thirties, my body and mind were breaking down. I was on multiple medications, antidepressants, anti-anxiety, ADHD, bipolar meds, plus painkillers and treatments for autoimmune issues. I kept most of this a secret from my family and friends. I stayed busy and did everything I could to avoid feeling the internal friction. What finally changed everything was not a doctor, a diagnosis, or a checklist. It was the deep, relentless call from within to stop running and finally meet myself. To face the emotions, fears, and beliefs that I had buried. In 2012, I made the hardest and most important decision of my life. I pulled the plug on the medications, left my job of 22 years, left the outside world behind, and turned inward. I surrendered. Not to defeat, but to a knowing that there must be more to me - and to life itself. I spent years studying spiritual teachings and philosophies full-time while working with an embodied master. I sat in silence relentlessly for years asking Creator "who am I, what am I & why am I here!". In 2015, after long periods of silence and choosing not to engage the mind, but to watch from a detatched state of awareness, I experienced a massive kundalini awakening and near-death experience (NDE). It was a spontaneous spiritual rebirth, not hypothetical, but literal in the way that my mind and body were deeply embedded with new levels of knowing. I directly experienced my true nature as eternal, unconditionally loving, and One with the Source of all life. I felt I had finally arrived, but I was just beginning! It isn't about knowing who you are, it's about letting your essence and pure clarity infuse every thought, word, and action. My new life unfolded one messy step at a time as I unraveled layers of human conditioning and delusion. Energy work, conscious breath, silence, and constant connection with my Creator Self and higher consciousness beings became as natural as walking. Relationships transformed from drama into harmony and my body transformed from illness into health. I can choose silence for long periods of time, or I can engage my mind to help me create.  I’ve spent the last decade medication-free, healthy, and fully alive, not because I found the perfect method, but because I connected to my inner knowing and followed that above all. I live from an entirely new state of consciousness, one rooted in presence, trust, and a direct connection to my Source Self. I am just one of many embodied humans on this planet bringing in the new energy and it has been a wild ride, but one I wouldn't change for anything. I’m not here to hand you a formula or tell you what to believe. I'm here to remind you of who you are & help you clear the cobwebs from your consciousness. I know what it feels like to be lost, overwhelmed, and unsure if anything will ever change. I also know the joy, bliss, and euphoria of melding with your true essence. Most importantly, I know that we must embrace both the messy emotional human and the blissful divine in order to truly live a life of enjoyment.  If you're ready to embody more clarity, peace, and your own unique expression, I’m here to remind you of who you really are, and of course: You've got this!